Improving Self-Esteem: Steps to Building Confidence & Resilience

It’s easy to underestimate the role self-esteem plays in everyday life. 

Think about it: 

How often do you hold back from speaking up in a meeting because you doubt your ideas are good enough? 

Or avoid social situations out of fear of being judged? 

Maybe you’ve caught yourself brushing off compliments, convincing yourself they’re undeserved. These may feel like small moments, but they reveal something bigger: how your inner voice, for better or worse, impacts your choices, your relationships, and your overall mental well-being. 

The truth is, self-esteem is not just about feeling good about yourself; it’s the foundation for how you navigate challenges, pursue opportunities, and bounce back from setbacks. 

That’s why working on self-esteem is one of the most valuable investments you can make in yourself. And while this work can certainly be done alone, therapy provides a supportive, structured, and effective space for building self-worth, strengthening resilience, and boosting confidence. 

Lewis Family Wellness Center is here to guide you through healthier ways to boost your self-esteem and help you become the best version of yourself. 

1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk 

One of the most common barriers to self-esteem is the inner critic. That voice that says, “You’re not smart enough” or “You always fail” often grows louder than any external feedback. 

In therapy, cognitive-behavioral techniques help identify and reframe these thoughts. For example, instead of “I’ll never be good at this,” you learn to shift to “I’m still learning, and progress takes time.” 

Here’s how you can integrate challenging negative self-talk into your daily life: 

• Start journaling to catch patterns of self-criticism. 

• Replace blanket negative statements with balanced truths. 

• Use affirmations rooted in reality (e.g., “I’ve overcome challenges before, I can do it again”). 

Why it Matters: Challenging negative self-talk creates a healthier, more compassionate dialogue with yourself, which fuels resilience in tough situations.

2. Celebrate Small Wins 

Low self-esteem often stems from overlooking one's own progress. Many people push themselves to achieve big milestones and dismiss smaller successes as insignificant. 

Therapy teaches you to track progress in manageable, realistic ways. For instance, a group therapy exercise might involve sharing weekly achievements, such as speaking up in class, completing a workout, or asking for help when needed. 

Here’s how you can start celebrating the small victories in your life: 

• Write down three small wins at the end of each day. 

• Share them with a trusted friend or family member for accountability. 

• Create visual reminders (sticky notes, a progress board, or a journal). 

Why it Matters: Recognizing even minor achievements builds momentum, trains your brain to look for progress, and gradually strengthens your confidence in your abilities.

3. Practice Self-Compassion 

Many people treat others with far more kindness than they offer themselves. Therapy emphasizes the importance of self-compassion: responding to mistakes and setbacks the way you would to a friend. 

For example, when you stumble in a presentation, instead of saying, “I’m terrible at this,” try reframing it as, “That didn’t go as planned, but I’m learning and improving.” 

Here are a few simple ways to start practicing self-compassion in your daily life: 

• Practice mindful breathing when self-critical thoughts arise. 

• Use “friend language”—ask yourself, “What would I say to someone I care about in this situation?” 

• Join group therapy sessions, where listening to others’ journeys often helps you treat yourself with more grace. 

Why it Matters: Self-compassion reduces shame, eases anxiety, and creates a stronger foundation for resilience when setbacks inevitably occur.

4. Build Healthy Boundaries 

Low self-esteem can lead to people-pleasing and overcommitting, which often reinforces feelings of inadequacy. Therapy sessions often explore how to recognize your limits and communicate them clearly. 

For example, practicing assertive communication in role-play exercises can help you feel more confident saying “no” when necessary. 

You can start implementing these easy steps into your daily routine to start building healthy boundaries: 

• Notice situations where you feel drained or resentful, as these often signal weak boundaries. 

• Practice simple boundary-setting phrases like, “I can’t take that on right now.” 

• Reflect afterward on how setting boundaries positively affected your energy and stress levels. 

Why it Matters: Boundaries protect your time, energy, and sense of self, reinforcing that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.

5. Embrace Vulnerability in Safe Spaces 

Self-esteem doesn’t mean never feeling uncertain. It’s about trusting yourself enough to be open, even when it feels uncomfortable. 

Group therapy, in particular, is a powerful space for this. Sharing your story and hearing others’ experiences normalizes struggles with self-worth and provides validation you may not have realized you needed. 

Here are a few easy ways to start working on embracing your vulnerability: 

• Start small: share your feelings with one trusted friend. 

• Practice vulnerability in safe, supportive spaces like group therapy. 

• Reframe vulnerability as courage, not weakness. 

Why it Matters: Vulnerability deepens connections, reduces isolation, and strengthens resilience by teaching you that you don’t have to face challenges alone.

6. Set Realistic Goals & Track Growth 

Setting unrealistic goals often sets us up for disappointment, fueling self-doubt. Therapy helps break goals into smaller, achievable steps that feel achievable. For example, instead of aiming for “perfect fitness,” start with walking three times a week and gradually increase the intensity. 

Try implementing these tactics to start accomplishing realistic goals in your life: 

• Break big goals into smaller, measurable steps. 

• Check in weekly to reflect on progress. 

• Adjust goals as you grow instead of abandoning them when challenges arise. 

Why it Matters: Realistic goals not only boost self-esteem but also create resilience by teaching persistence through incremental progress.

Building Confidence & Resilience Through Therapy 

Improving self-esteem isn’t about ignoring flaws or pretending everything is perfect; it’s about cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself. Through therapy, you can learn practical tools to quiet negative self-talk, celebrate your progress, treat yourself with compassion, and step into challenges with greater confidence. 

Over time, these steps enable you to build resilience, providing more opportunities to bounce back stronger when life throws curveballs.

Take the Next Step at Lewis Family Wellness Center in Minnesota

At Lewis Family Wellness Center, we believe every individual has the potential to cultivate self-worth and confidence. Whether through one-on-one counseling or the shared support of group therapy, our therapists are here to guide you on your journey toward stronger self-esteem and resilience. 

If you’re ready to quiet your inner critic, embrace your strengths, and build the confidence you deserve, reach out today. Contact Lewis Family Wellness Center to learn more about our therapy services and take the first step toward a healthier, more empowered you.